Best one liner in ages

At the end of a 3 day 'soft skills' training course, we were each given a mini chocolate as a reward for our performances.

One colleague initially refused the chocolate and the tutor then said "well then take it for your wife". The chap replied "well ok, we have got our anniversary coming up"

Fize'ld Out

Got a dodgey right foot at the moment. Don't know whether or not to call the doctor and go through the hassle of being referred to a specialist, only to be told it's ligament strain and assigned to an indefinite amount of physio.

What the hell I'm still playing football, but on certain days its too painful to walk for a short period. I'm only 30-something, should I be worried?